Saturday, February 12, 1944
The sun is shining, the sky is deep blue, there’s a magnificent breeze, and I’m longing–really longing–for everything: conversation, freedom, friends, being alone. I long…to cry! I feel as if I were about to explode. I know crying would help, but I can’t cry. I’m restless. I walk from one room to another, breathe through the crack in the window frame, feel my heart beating as if to say, “Fulfill my longing at last…”.
I think spring is inside me. I feel spring awakening, I feel it in my entire body and soul. I have to force myself to act normally. I’m in a state of utter confusion, don’t know what to read, what to write, what to do. I only know that I’m longing for something…